To my 10-year old self,
I am writing this letter to you to remind you that you are beautiful. You have been told over and over again by grandparents, doctors, and friends, that you are not enough, that your body is gross and that there is something wrong with you. I know you look at other girls in your class and want to look like them - small and dainty, able to wear cute clothes. They don’t have to shop in the misses section as an elementary schooler. I know that the whole class laughed at you when they heard you had a crush on the most popular boy. I know how painful that has been.
In the coming years you will struggle with finding your worth and you will look for it in empty places. You will look for it in food, the gym, men, and alcohol. However, this struggle will bring you to a place of self-assurance. You will ultimately find your worth in Jesus. You will come to realize that God did not make a mistake when He made you and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I wish I could be there to tell you this every day. I am sorry that you have been so hurt and have lost pieces of your childhood because of it.
I know you think that if you are skinny and look like all of the girls in your class, you will be happy and that all of your problems will go away. In reality, being skinny will not make you happy. You have been blessed with family and friends who will remind you of your worth and will continue to love you no matter your size. You have brothers who will call you and tell you how wonderful and beautiful you are when you get your heart broken. You have friends who will love you and remind you to smile. Your pastors will remind you that you have a valuable place in the church, and mentors who will make you feel understood.
You will still feel alone at times and wonder why you can't look like the girls in the magazines but then you will remind yourself that happiness does not come from being skinny. Happiness comes from deep relationships, authenticity, and finding your value in God. You will grow up to be an advocate for yourself and those around you. You will learn to love those around you fiercely just as you have been loved.
Body positive blogs are inspiring, but sometimes it might not be enough. We get that! You might want something more. An expert to walk along side you in your journey towards body respect and food peace. We've got you covered. Sign up for a free "pre-consultation" to see if working with one of our registered dietitians doing faith-based nutrition counseling is right for you.
Katie is a recent transplant to north county, San Diego. She is currently getting her masters in social work at CSU San Marcos. Katie is working though disordered eating and mental illness and desires to use her vulnerability and experiences to help other women feel that they are not alone. Katie enjoys hiking surfing and being with her family.