Confessions of a Control Freak

Confessions of a Control Freak

Trust. Is there any other word in the English language that requires more surrender but yields more fruit? Not for me. I like to know what’s coming and be prepared.

Sometimes this is a really good quality and other times it leads to the idol of self-sufficiency. It causes me to try to control everything, prepare for everything, and have a plan for everything.

That’s why every so often the Lord kindly gives me a reminder that HE in fact can be trusted, should be trusted, and if I am to have the kind of relationship with Him that I would like to have, He has to be trusted (and I really need to get out of the way).

I am currently in a huge season of change, which is always a faithful reminder that I am not in control and that I have to trust the Lord. I am currently pregnant, raising a toddler, facing a possible job change in our family, and moving to a larger home in the next few weeks. Life as I know it is evolving.

The other day I was taking a few minutes with the Lord and found myself asking Him, “Lord, how are we going to manage all of this? How is this going to work out with timing, provision, growing our family??” As he always does, the Holy Spirit spoke the exact word to my heart just when I needed to hear it. He reminded me of the truth – the truth that He told me 3 years ago when I was starting my private practice and terrified of failing. “All I ask of you is to trust me and obey. I will take care of the ‘how’.”

Instantly, I was at peace. That “peace that passes all understanding” AKA peace that doesn’t make any sense. That peace that comes when I surrender, listen, trust, and obey.

I don’t know “how” everything is going to work out, but I know Who I am listening to and following and that knowledge gives me so much hope and anticipation for my future.

If you are reading this, you probably have things in your life that are changing, might change, or need to change. I invite you to trust the Lord; obey Him in whatever He is leading you to do, and rest in peace as He takes care of the “how.”

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Kristen is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist specializing in eating disorders, oncology, and pediatrics. In private practice and in life, Kristen desires to incorporate the truth of God's Word into her life and the lives of her clients, knowing that it is the Truth that sets all of us free! She and her husband Keith love being part of their local church community and seeking God's will in all areas.